Review: Hatchet (2007)

Hatchet (2007) - ** 1/2 [out of ****]
Director: Adam Green
Starring: Joel David Moore, Deon Richmond, Tamara Feldman, Mercedes
McNab, Kane Hodder, Parry Shen, Joel Murray, Joleigh Fioreavante,
Patrika Darbo, Robert Englund, Richard Riehle, Joshua Leonard, Tony
Todd, Rileah Vanderbilt, John Carl Buechler
MPAA Rating(US): R
BBFC Rating(UK): 18

-Reviewed by Tom Elce-
-(c) Tom Elce-

"Hatchet", as it's poster suggests, isn't a remake or a sequel in any
sense. Instead it is a reversion back to the styling of an old school
horror, with a few dashes of none-too subtle comedy thrown into the
mix. Whether the movie itself can be considered an entirely original
one is another story, even if it isn't officially based on a previous
work. Murderous Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder), "Hatchet"'s villain of
choice, reminds too much of Jason Voorhees, the film's horror elements
are in keeping with the genre's modern-day norm--which is to say, gore
reigns supreme--and the comedy infrequently hits the mark. All in all,
however, "Hatchet" is an adequately made horror-comedy that
nevertheless comes with its fair share of written flaws.

No longer enthusiastic about the Mardi Gras after being dumped by his
girlfriend, Ben (Joel David Moore) opts to go for something more
peaceful than reveling. Dragging his displeased friend Marcus (Deon
Richmond) along for the ride, Ben trades in boob for a nighttime
haunted boat tour of the Louisiana Bayou. The trip, headed by clueless
tour guide Shawn (Parry Shen), doesn't go according to plan, however,
when the local legend Victor Crowley, believed to be dead, makes his
presence known and begins killing all who ill-fatedly cross his path.
So Ben, Marcus, elderly tourist couple Mr. Permatteo (Richard Riehle)
and Mrs. Permatteo (Patrika Darbo), softcore pornography director
Shapiro (Joel Murray), actresses Misty (Mercedes McNab) and Jenna
(Joleigh Fiorevante), and loner Marybeth (Tamara Feldman) must band
together in a bloody fight for their lives, charged with the task of
defeating a possibly-supernatural killing force.

The screenplay, written by director Adam Green, isn't exactly
watertight but comes with it's fair share of chucklesome one-liners
and visual gags. "He's still alive" one tour member pronounces upon
coming across Victor Crowley's latest victim following an apparently-
failed shooting. To which Marcus responds, "no he looks dead as sh**",
missing the mark entirely. Unfortunately, such simplistic jokes come
at an all-too frequent rate, but are rarely as funny as the
aforementioned joke. The characters themselves are written with more
depth than the usual slasher victims are and the viewer actually goes
so far as to care about a couple of them, but generally they're
awkwardly established and spout off almost-entirely unnatural dialogue
throughout. Writer-director Green's directing is more sturdy, even is
he apparently lacks the understanding of what makes a slasher film
truly unsettling. "Hatchet" itself is never honestly scary and suffers
in comparison with the year's more capably made horror films--i.e. Eli
Roth's "Hostel: Part II".

The acting, on the other hand, is consistently good all-round. Joel
David Moore is a likable lead protagonist as the jilted Ben, Deon
Richmond excels in a part that for once doesn't cater to common black
stereotypes ever-present in modern-day horrors and Tamara Feldman is
an obvious emotive force. Elsewhere, Richard Riehle is an absolute
hoot throughout his screen-time as the comically tourist Mr.
Permatteo, and Misty and Jenna are a funny warring pair as played by
Mercedes McNab and Joleigh Fiorevante respectively. Victor Crowley may
owe a lot to other fictional serial killers in traits, and may be a
poor man's version of Jason Voorhees in particular, but is played with
skill and a whole lot of make-up by Kane Hodder (who also plays his
deceased father).

However much it's poster campaign prides itself on not being some part
of a series, one wouldn't be at all surprised were "Hatchet" to breed
a series of sequels. Needless to say, further installments probably
wouldn't be too good, as "Hatchet" is close enough to being cookie-
cutter already. A downhill slide would be the most predictable of
outcomes. Viewed as a standalone effort "Hatchet" is a grittily
produces slasher fare that suffers from predictability--we aren't at
all surprised by who bites the dust and who survives--and the mistaken
belief that grue alone qualifies as terrifying. Well, grue and a dark
stormy night anyway. "Hatchet" is well-made but forgettable.